i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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