those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She tied me up with her honor cords...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
