Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
