16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
