How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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