i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This baby is an asshole
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize