end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
