Please, let me fuck your mom
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
