you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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