i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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