Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
