And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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