so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
