Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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