there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
