Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
