I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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