awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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