It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
