I heard we made out
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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