The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
what day is it and did you see me today?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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