so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
