what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
