Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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