Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
