I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
