I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
