Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
