We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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