are you still at the devil's house?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
