Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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