remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
