Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I love you. Go after that dick
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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