u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
