i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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