R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
