mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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