he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
