I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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