I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
