Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
