Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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