i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
