Taylor Swift is so right about you.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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