i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
