I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Randomize