on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
