go do what you do best...puke behind churches
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
