For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
