guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
