I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
