I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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