If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
How's work?
Spinning.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
