Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
