i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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