I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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