New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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