Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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