ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
