yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize