So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
