Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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