i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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