do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
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