If i come over, it means nothing
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
