and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You were trust falling into bushes
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
