I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
