I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
