Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
