you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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