I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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