I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
they need to just BURY HIM!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
