Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
