Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
