We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
