Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
