She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize